So, I know I haven't written anything in like forever. I just had a whole lot going on. From my last post, I am in Virginia now. I'm still not settled in yet. I checked in to my unit on 9 April and am almost finished with in-processing. I'm on Permissive TDY right now; it's basically 10 free days of leave that the Army gives you for finding a house.
I've had a lot of turmoil the past few days, and maybe writing about it will help ease the pain a little. I actually did find a house right in between where me and my "fiance" would be stationed at. It would have been a 45 minute drive for me; 20 minutes for him. In my mind it was worth the drive, to be able to go home to my own house, and family. While we went around looking at houses, I had this little bit of uncertainty buried in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I set myself up for failure; I don't know. It just felt like everything was going too perfect, and maybe it was. Literally, everything was going perfect for me. I got put into a Unit that's currently deployed, and will be returning in September. That means that I don't have to worry about deploying again until after September 2010 at the earliest if I stay with this Unit. Trust me, that's a great piece of mind to have, when you've already spent almost 2 years away from your kids. They haven't lived with me since August 2007. They will be coming to Virginia to stay in July.
So, like I said. Everything seemed to be falling into place and perfect. The house that I bought was great for a first home. It has over 2,700 sq/ft., four bedrooms, a study (could count as a fifth bedroom, a gigantic kitchen, and a big Master's suite. Like I said, it was perfect. It even had wires and speakers pre installed for surround sound, in the Family Room. And I forgot to mention that it came with a 50'' plasma TV that would be delivered after I moved in. You can't get more perfect then that.
So what is the problem? I guess when you look for something to fall apart, it inevitably does. And fall apart it did. Not even a week after I signed the papers for the house, my fiance and I broke up. Basically on the lines of, he thinks he needs space and wants his own place. You really can't fault a person for not knowing what they want...rather sooner then later. What I do fault him for is his timing. Prime example of why I nick named him "too late." Because when he finally figures out life, it's always after the fact. Guys, it took me a 1/2 day to process. My first thought was to kill him. Yeah, I know. Think Heavens, I've learned to think before I act...for the most part any way.
When I finally found the words to ask, all I wanted to know was "why", and "why?" "Why, do you feel like this now?" "Why didn't you bring this up before I signed the loan agreement?" "Why didn't this cross your mind before 'you' handed over the Good Faith Money?" I mean, he was more excited about this house then I was. He ran through the whole thing, inside and out, taking picture after picture. So, I thought it was reasonable for me to be perplexed. There was no logical explanation. I tried to be lady like, but it ended up turning downright ghetto! I still have the same question, "why didn't you tell me this before I signed?"
So I sat realizing that I was about to be stuck with a house that was 45 minutes away from where I worked. Yes, I know that people to commutes longer then that all over the world. I figure they either have to, or they have something or someone to go home to. Yes, I'll have my kids with me. But, they would have to go to school by the house. I'm a SGT in the Army. Who's to say that I can rush out and pick them up in an emergency situation on time. I got some guidance from my girlfriend, and of all people, my ex-husband. Never thought he would be on the receiving end of my problems, and offering helping words.
So, hopefully I won't have to retell this story again anytime soon. In other words, I won't be ready to tell this story again anytime soon! That's why I had to write it down; to let it all out. I've cried, and cried, and cried. I haven't screamed yet; might try that later. It's not the breaking up that's the hard part. It's picking up the broken pieces. I've spent the past several years with this man, and it felt like I was just being thrown away like garbage. I know some of you may feel like I'm over-exaggerating, but I'm not. To have someone do that to you, and then look at you, questioning why you're so upset. I got told, that it wasn't a big deal, because I can buy another house. Yes, that's his logic. It's all no big deal. At least not to him!
So enough of my pity party, been doing it all weekend; just figured I'll invite some friends this time. So now I'm working with my realtor (she's really been a great help), to get into another development (by the same builders) that's closer to where I live. The builders have been pretty awesome also. I guess it really is a "buyer's" market. Not only are they willing to transfer everything over to the new community, if I choose to live there instead. They are also willing to substantially drop the price of the first house that I had chose.
There's only one house left that's close to where live. It either has a basement or a finished attic (it's still being built); as well has the four bedrooms, and super large Master Suite. So I guess I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but I still have a long way to go until I get to the end of it. I'll make sure to keep up with the updates on the blog. I'm sure that it will also be a great stress reliever too.
No comments:
Post a Comment